There are so many words, I don't know where to start. It's been so long since I let them all out. All the thoughts and emotions and spiraling thoughts have just been building up until now I feel like I might explode or alternatively I might just go numb entirely. I'm tired, I'm scared, I feel the pressure. I'm happy and nervous, excited and disappointed. How do I navigate all these conflicting thoughts? I guess this is the first step. Is there even a right way to parent? There's an ideal that I think every parent might have, but no one ever really reaches that ideal. But am I doing what's right for my kid or what's right and easy for me? Am I taking the easy way out? Am I harming him with my laziness? I never wanted my depression to affect my parenting but it already has and is and it scares me that I might be turning into someone I don't want to be. I love my work. It's exciting, and nerve-wracking, and fascinating. But am I doing enough? Am I ...