Two years have come and gone, self harm just a thing of the past. But it's not really. The week before I completed 24 full months of uncut skin, I was so tempted to break it. I remember the feeling from almost three years ago. I had finally been clean for six whole months , but then the pressure was just too much and I hurt myself again. Most of it, I believe, was the stress I was putting myself under, and the fear of living without depression. I have struggled with that despair for a long time. For years I was just a person with depression, and I was scared, because I didn't know who I was without the depression. When something is present in your life for years on end, how do you suddenly survive without it? It's not that simple. I've always known that. I've run away from happiness and purposely sabotaged myself out of fear of the future, fear of the unknown. It would be wrong of me to say that I don't feel that way anymore. That I'm not scared or hurting ...