Skip to main content

TOP

 Miscarriage. Abortion. Non-viable fetus.

Such complicated names, when they all mean the same thing. Loss. Disappointment. Fear. 

We knew for weeks, before the procedure actually took place. And I suppose that made it slightly more bearable. More...manageable? It wasn't easy. Was it hard? I've gone through harder things. Other people seemed to struggle more than I did. Am I broken? I think I'm okay. As much as I try to convince others, I really think I am okay. I'll survive, I'll get through this, I have no doubt about it. If I made it through all my past shit, I can make it through this, easy.

I'm grateful for my support system. Which was stronger and wider than I previously thought. Grateful that I didn't have to go through it alone, that L was there with me the whole time. 

We'll get through this. I know we will. And when we finally have our own family, we'll remember this fetus, Eddie, and be okay.

Popular posts from this blog

"The Maze"

I've been blogging on and off for a few years. Even before then, I was writing. Whether it was stories in my notebook or scribbles on scraps of paper, I didn't care. I've found things that I've written from over ten years ago! I'm 18, and online, I'll go by Bex. Some people might know me, or recognize me or my story, but that's okay. I don't mind people knowing who I am, but I don't want to publicize my identity either. I've recently decided to start blogging again, and this time, I'm going to share it. I want to help people. I want to guide others who are in my situation, let them know that they're not alone. I've been through hell and back, and I believe I can use my experience in a way that will benefit myself and others. Where do I start? Let's start with the name of this blog. "Escape the maze." This is a term I have recently started using, to describe my battle with depression. I was 12 years old, when I fir...
Read more

How Can I Compare?

How can I compare? This is a question I ask myself often. I recently started work as a content writer for a website. What I write is mostly product descriptions, for a range of different artists, designs and pieces. Often, for inspiration, I look at what has been written for previous products. Sometimes they make me laugh, with simple mistakes like 'bowels' instead of 'bowls'. But other times, reading them makes me feel insecure. I am a good writer. I know this. But I am also a simple writer. I hardly use exquisite words, I try not to make things complicated, and I don't like exaggerating. So when I read a description that only uses words like "intricate" "masterful" and "behold" (none too complicated words, but when all put together in one sentence it transforms into a much more sophisticated sound) I start to doubt myself. How can I compare with another writer, if they only use words that have seven letters or more? When three word...
Read more