Escape the Maze

Happy. I'd almost forgotten what it's like. It felt so good out there, laughing and smiling, having fun while singing and dancing. It feels fucking amazing. I haven't felt that good in a really long time. I notice it every day, how my smile becomes more natural, my laugh comes to me more easily. And it's refreshing. Relieving. It's been a long time since happiness was this simple for me, and it's about damn time. I don't know what's changed. Or rather, I don't know what caused the change. So many things have been happening in my life lately, and maybe that's the reason. I'm learning new things, doing fascinating tasks and meeting different people. Everything is changing, but instead of being scary, it's wonderful. I'm not afraid of the change anymore, instead I welcome it, I look forward to it. Every day is a new day for me, a new day to change my life, to grow more comfortable with myself and around other people. I feel good just s...

Write and never stop, let it all pour out. So much has been happening, so many thoughts and words that I'd like to say, that I'm too afraid to say. Everything, everyone,  scares me. I fear love more than anything. I've been pushing them away, why? Force of habit. I miss you, her, him, them. I can't stand the loneliness that makes my heart ache and my bones shatter. A deep piercing in my chest, low and powerful. Like a single bass note, hitting me square in the heart. I connect with music, I feel with music, I always have and I always will. It's so confusing, but not to me, it shouldn't be. I feel in music, I describe pain as notes and songs and sounds are how I keep myself awake and aware. As I feel more and write quickly my sentences run together and words become paragraphs become pages and all without commas because I can't stop for breath or I'll forget all I have to say. New topics constantly popping up in my mind, words and feelings that I have no...