Every day passes so incredibly slowly. Yet the week zooms by, and before I know it, a month has passed. Time is relative, I've heard, and changes based on what you're doing on any given day. I feel like just yesterday I was counting down my six weeks, but now I'm down to three.
I realize, life passes by without even letting you know. If you don't pay attention, you won't even notice. Find something to do that will make each day meaningful. Don't let yourself fall into a routine. Schedules are good, but if every day is the same as the last, you'll never make any memories. Nothing will signify one day versus the next, and your life will become a blur.
That's what I'm experiencing right now. I'm trying to make each day count, to do something new, something different. Meet new people, trying new things. Because really, if you don't do any of that, what do you have? If I don't manage to put a smile on someone's face today, even if it's just myself, what have I accomplished?
One year, three years, have zoomed past incredibly quickly. I am now over one year clean from self-harm. Next month, it will have been three years since I escaped my ex. And where am I now? I can't even describe how much has changed. Life and love, friendships and breakups, it's all happened and passed, but I recall every bit. I recognize how much has happened in these months, how much has transformed about me, about each of my friends and family members. I will never go back there. I have learned to trust myself, and that's the best thing anyone can do. I won't say my faith in people has been restored, or that my trust is as easily gained as it once was. But I am on my way. I won't let myself be destroyed like I once was, and I won't try to handle it on my own.
I know the best thing, and hardest thing, is to ask for help. For many years, I didn't. I held my secrets, kept them close, never revealed them, and I suffered terribly for them.
Life is unpredictable. Maybe I'll go back to the place I was at once, and I might struggle or deal with depression and anxiety yet again. But this time, I'm stronger. I'm learning from my experiences. I'm taking my days one at a time, making every one count. Because if every day counts, how can life not?