For years, I was suppressed, both by myself and others. I didn't speak, never voiced an opinion, and often didn't have an opinion. Recently, I found my voice. I tried to educate myself on matters that are important to me, I spoke to people with different beliefs and opinions, and heard different sides to every story. I learned about different religions, sexualities, genders, inequalities. I discovered things about myself that I had never even considered, things I had never been exposed to.
That is why I started this blog. To speak up, to voice my opinion, even if no one hears it. I need to write, to speak, to make up for the years I lost. I get frustrated with myself when I realize how much I have to say, that I've kept inside until now. As of now, I have more than three blog posts that I've started writing and stopped. One because I got frustrated, and I didn't know how to say what I felt. Another because I wasn't quite sure where I was going with it. A third because it was too long. I started writing about one topic, but six lines in I had touched about eight different subjects. Everything is so connected, in my writing, in my head.
After being silenced for so long, I'm struggling suddenly with how loud my voice is. I'm hearing myself for the first time, and I'm fascinated with how much I have to say. How did I stay silent when in reality I'm so much smarter than that? I care too much to be quiet. I'm eager to learn, to ask, to question. I want to know everything about everything.
I surprise myself every day with what I have to say. Sometimes they're things I think about for ages, and other times topics just pop into my head and I realize I have so many opinions. I'm constantly asking the people around me about every subject they know.
It is so so important to learn, to form an opinion of your own. I've learned this lately. If you always follow blindly, how will you ever form your own thoughts? One can never become a leader until they stand independently. And not everyone wants to be a leader, that's okay. But if you don't learn to think for yourself, to ask questions and wonder why, you will never be able to be your own person. And really, why would you want to be somebody else's pet parrot?