Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Disconnection

It is important to take time for yourself. Whether you've had a crazy day at work, run around all day doing errands or sat at home on your computer, at the end (or middle) of each day, you should give yourself at least five minutes.
Some people call it meditation, but I don't consider it that way. I don't sit quietly, I don't close my eyes and think of nothing. All I do is connect to myself. Sometimes I write, or sometimes I play guitar, or maybe I just lay on my bed and listen to music. But the imperative part is to listen to yourself.

For years, I pushed down my instincts, which only tried to protect me. I ignored the voice in my head telling me what was right and wrong. I gave into pressure from the people around me, and I had no opinion of my own. I felt terrible about myself, and I knew that what I was doing was unhealthy. But it took me years to overcome this dangerous habit of mine. At the end, it was one of the major pieces of the puzzle, something that gave me a significant leap towards the exit of the maze.
I've found that often it is difficult to listen to yourself. Whether it be because you do not have spare time, or simply cannot figure out what you want, it's easy to just forget about what you need.

Why? That is a question I find myself asking a lot lately. Why do we do this to ourselves? We overlook our own basic needs, just to focus on things that aren't as critical.

Recently, I realized that the internet was making me stressed. This isn't particularly unusual for anyone, as it has been proven that staring at screens all day is unhealthy. So I decided that I would turn off my internet for a week. Now, I didn't go the whole week avoiding electronics, and in fact I still carried my phone everywhere with me. I even left my internet on sometimes. But I spent a few days releasing myself from the addiction of internet. I only turned my wifi on a couple times a day, and never for long. Pretty soon, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I wasn't seeing people and statements and topics all over that were distressing me, and I had freed myself of the obligation to check my phone every minute.

I now leave my wifi on all day, but try not to check my phone every few seconds. I learned how to go hours without touching my phone, or even feeling tempted to! I always turn my internet off at night, though, as I find it heightens my anxiety when I wake up to dozens of notifications. Instead, I wake up and my phone and head are both clear. When I feel ready, I turn on my internet and get a few collective bleeps, instead of receiving each notice individually.

Disconnecting from the internet is one of the easiest ways to connect to yourself. Our brains are often so occupied with the new hashtag, or post, or page that is going around, that we neglect our own peace of mind. Once you block all that out, you are the first thing you notice. Whether it's the fact you forgot to eat breakfast, or the fact that your legs are getting stiff, sometimes we don't detect basic feelings because we are too preoccupied.

Turn off your internet. Shut your laptop. Do what you love most, and listen to your brain when it's happy. Take notice of what your mind is telling you, and take action.